poke bosses playing overwatch
Giovanni: mains soldier 76. points out everyone else’s misplays while ignoring his own. ults on 50HP and instantly regrets it. somehow gets all silver medals every time. will report people for having ugly skins.
Archie: mains reinhardt. if you don’t stay behind his shield he runs after you just to keep you safe. “yo watch this charge” *fucks up the charge* “calculated.” unironically replicates at least half the stuff reinhardt says in voice chat. “oh hey look i got play of the game again, sweet.”
Maxie: mains ana. likes to nano archie at the absolute worst possible moments. screams over voice chat when he hits a sleep dart. gives up trying to hit the tracer so just lobs his grenade across the map and hopes. “you only got play of the game because i helped you.“
Cyrus: mains symmetra. sneaks over to the enemy spawn to put turrets outside and camp the mercy. what? it’s efficient. got a turret play of the game one time and almost quit the game entirely.
everyone forgets he’s even there until, “teleporter online.” it was a cliff teleporter, you were fooled.
Ghetsis: mains mei. walls his team in with an ulting reaper and then acts like it was an accident. “you’re all useless,” he says as his ult gets eaten by dva for the third time this game. you know when he’s killed the enemy mercy because he cackles over voice comms.
Lysandre: mains widowmaker. seventy shots, no kills. three minutes into the match and he only just gets his ult. occasionally gets a really nice trickshot and makes sure everyone knows it was him. “if i don’t get a pick in the first thirty seconds i’ll switch.” never switches.
Guzma: mains junkrat. thinks junkrat requires high skill and won’t let anyone say otherwise. keeps blasting himself off the map with his mines. somehow gets at least a triple kill every time he ults. *enemy tracer kills him one time* “hey yo tracer is hacking.” trying his best.
Lusamine: mains mercy. one of those self-righteous mercy mains who thinks their team is trash and they’re the one carrying. ruthlessly efficient but she really isn’t as good as she thinks she is. kills flankers by herself without asking for help only to turn around and realise half her team is dead.
@blobkid Guzma is so you and Archie is so me xD
tinylesbee